We celebrated Friendship day a few months back. As my mom was very busy in her work, she forgot to get my brother some friendship bands for himself. He was very cross with her. The next day in school during lunch break, he came running up to me with a tear-stricken face. One thing I just can’t see is my brother crying. I started ranting, ” Did that bully do something to you again? If so, I swear to God I..”
He stopped me in my tracks and said, “Nahi didi. Remember that mom couldn’t get those friendship bands for me? Today everyone was so happy and were tying those bands on each others’ hands. The girls were showing off their arms, with those colorful bands. No one came to me, not even my friends. Not even my best friend. When I asked him why, do you know what he said? “
“No. What did he say?” I asked.
He said that he won’t give me a friendship band because I didn’t give him one. He said that unless I don’t give a friendship band to anyone else then I won’t get one too. Is this how it works?”
Expectations. So many memories flash through my mind when I hear this word. Yours must too. We all have gone through miniature tragedies when this word is being talked about. The time you expected him to call, but he didn’t. The time, you thought that finally she would be here on your day, but she wasn’t. The time, when you thought God would finally give you something to smile about but didn’t. The time, when you just expected something from that person. That time, is the time when you lose. No no, I don’t mean a game, but yourself.
I myself was one who expected things. What kind of human doesn’t? And it kills, it kills you to remember that time when you were ready to jump off the cliff. Just for that one person. That time, when you just cry about the unfairness of it all. And when we finally swallow in the fact that that person didn’t do for us what we expected, we wallow in sadness. In disappointments.
Don’t you wonder then, in the end who is losing out on life? You. Because one thing I have learned is, to just DON’T EXPECT. Yeah consultant, you would be thinking, easier said than done. but after reading this it won’t.
So you are sad, You confront the person. And what do you get? Relief? Acceptance of the fact that that person knows you are hurt? Maybe. But more than that you inflicted pain on yourself. You put your energy in something futile. It was just something that took up your mind space. Now do you realise it? Through all this exercise the only one who suffered was you. And why should you? You are one special human being. The only thing about expectations is that they have end products which are not useful. And if that isn’t enough then everyone around you expects from you. Hey! Is this some kind of barter system? Even a child, is facing the brunt of this 11 lettered word. Children are too small to understand, but are you too?
All I am trying to say is that when you think that someone expects from you or you expect something from that person, it leads to nothing but regret. Disappointments.
And is that what life is about?
You know what? Just don’t care. Don’t expect. So what if he hasn’t called? Maybe something has happened to him. Call him up. And just talk. No confrontations. Who gets hurt? No one. And then when people will expect things from you, is won’t even matter to you. It won’t if you have a a true heart and a true justification.
Because believe me. Sometimes, it just doesn’t matter. And when things in life lead to disappointments , the best thing is to let go of them. And poof! Life is a little easier. And much happier.